I Never Thought It Would Be Like This

I love my husband and kids.  I consider myself a great mother and that is one thing I will brag about  I am proud of myself and I should be.  I'm not trying to sound "prideful", I'm really not.  Something happened that made me think that maybe I'm not as good as a mother as I thought I was.  Two weeks ago my husband and two kids went out of town.  I stayed home as I had to work.  I had 2 days to myself and I missed them but it was wonderful.  I was cleaning my daughter's bedroom and noticed some empty water bottles under her bed so I pulled them out.  Along with them came a notebook that was open and I saw the words "my mom drives me crazy".  Of course I had to read it.  I couldn't stop myself.  I wish I hadn't.  She had written she didn't love me, wished my husband and I would get a divorce and I would leave.  I could not believe it!  Granted she is very close to her father and the definition of daddy's girl.  We are so different.  She is a tomboy, into sports, etc.  I was what you call a "girly girl", more into clothes, etc.   We've never been close since she's gotten a little older.  I cried that entire night then I got angry.  How dare she?  I have done so much for her, sacrificed so much to make her happy and she feels like this?  I thought and thought of what I could do differently and know what I found out?  Nothing.  There is not one thing I would change about myself to make her happier.  I don't need to!  She is a good girl, never back talks, has never been disrespectful to us.  I have never raised my voice to her.  I just can't figure it out.  Maybe she was mad at me that day or something but she actually wrote "I hate her".  Hate is a very strong word and I never once even thought I hated my mother.  Sure I got mad at her and maybe at times didn't like her very much but I never hated her.  This is really bothering me.  She is acting better towards me now and I don't know why.  I'm not doing anything different.  I asked my 17-year-old son if he thought I was a good mother and he said I was the best.  He has always said he's like to have two good parents as some of his friends don't.  Anyone out there have any advice?  Anything like this happen to you?  

What are we doing????

Okay, I have to vent.  I work at home and did tech support for Tier3Support.  They contracted with Rosetta Stone Language Learning and we took their support calls.  Well as of 3 weeks ago I no longer have a job.  They decided to drop our contract and all of their support calls now go to India.  So...I have another work at home job now that I love (cannot talk about it) but it is with BzzAgent.  For Rosetta Stone to take work away from Americans and send it to India - well, I can't even say what I want to.  I would never buy their software or support this company in any way whatsoever if I were you.  Okay - I'm done.  God is good though - I got the job with BzzAgent the same week I lost my job with Tier3support and I love it so much more!!!  God closes a door and a window opens - looking back on my life I see that has happened a lot.    I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.  Sunny and 75 here in Tennessee today but rain tomorrow.  Oh well, April showers bring May flowers.

Twilight Frenzy

Okay - I read the books and like most people absolutely loved them.  My daughter is 12 and she and her friends are obsessed with Edward.  I would be too if I was 12 - lol.  My daughter has read this series 3 times.  I took her and 3 of her friends to the movie when it first came out and later my daughter and I went by ourselves.  Good movie but the book is better (as is in most cases).  Don't know if you know this but the DVD came out on Saturday at 12:01 midnight.  Our local Walmart was having a Twilight party starting at 11:00 to last up until the DVDs were brought out.  I took my daughter and her best friend and we got there at 10:30.  I knew you would be able to find this DVD anywhere the next day but it was fun for them and made it all that much more exciting.  Finally 12:01 arrived and the DVD's were brought out and you would not believe these people!  They already said they had 1,000 DVDs and there were not near that many people there.  A lady about 3 times my size pushed me and almost knocked me down.  Luckily we made it out of there alive!  We got home at 1:00 a.m. - I went to bed and my daughter and her friend stayed up most of the night watching the movie.   Anyone a Twilight fan????

Shocked

Okay - I was way wrong.  Alexis Grace???  Give me a break!  She is a much better singer than Scott.  What is America thinking?  Oh well, my 2 guys are still in the running (Danny and Kris) so we will see what happens next week.

I am a day late posting this but busy, busy, busy as I am sure everyone can understand that!

Hope everyone has a great Friday.

Rita

American Idol

Michael Sarver started the night off with an energetic performance of Ain't Goin' Down till the Sun Comes Up.   I didn't like it and predict he goes home tonight.

Allison Ireheta sang Blame It On Your Heart and she did a great job.  Part country and part rock and her performance was good.  I can't see her winning American Idol but she does  have a very mature voicefor being only 16 and is a good singer. All the judges liked her performance so I don't see her in the bottom 2 tonight.

Kris Allen - To Make You Feel My Love - You know what they say, "less is more". Well that was definitely the case with this performance.  He sang this song so beautifully and I hope to see him in the finals.  If not I'm sure he will defintely get some kind of contract out of the deal.  I hope he continues to do well.  He is one of my favorites.

Lil Rounds - Independence Day - She sang it well but she's not one of my favorites.  She can sing but is so like many other R&B singers.  I do not see her going far. 

Adam Lampert - Ring of Fire - I'm with Simon, What was that???  To me it was horrible and a complete mess.  I do not like Adam as a lot of people seem to.  He relies on his looks too much and I don't think he can sing at all.  We shall see but I expect him to be in the final 4 anyway.  

Scott McIntyre - Wild Angels - Performance was the same as last week but it was heart-felt  He can sing but not good enough to stay in the competition much longer. 

Alexis Grace - Jolene - I like her and she can sing.  I don't think I like her as much as most people.  I do think she will be in the top 4 if not higher.  She seems to be well liked by the judges and the public. 

Danny Gokey - Jesus Take the Wheel - Not as good as last week but still good.  This boy can sing and I like him.  He will be in the final 4 - I will be shocked if he isn't.  He is also one of my favorites.

Anoop DeSai - You Were Always On My Mind - After last week's Beat It, I was a little apprehensive about Anoop, but he came to compete and delivered an admirable vocal on this song.  This is just what he needed to stay in the competition.

Megan Joy Corkrey - Walkin' After Midnight - I didn't like her last night even though she did have the flu - I just don't think she can sing and I hate the sound of her voice.  I am really surprised she is still around - there were so many better singers that got cut.  I don't see her being around much longer. 

Matt Giraud - So Small -  It was an excellent performance and I loved it.  The judges all agreed and thought this was the best performance.  I disagree and think Kris delivered the best performance but Matt was great.

Who will go home? I say Scott more than likely.

Who will be in the top 4?  I think (and not my opinion) will be Danny, Adam, Alexis and Allison.  Who I think should be in the top 4?  Danny, Kris, Anoop and Matt - just my opinion.

 What do you think?

American Idol

Okay, I have to admit I'm a junkie.  I am obsessed with this show even though every year I get mad at who gets the boot and swear I'm not going to watch it again.  Perfect example of that is Chris Daughtry.  Now I see it as a good thing as he is very successful.  Right now I am voting for Danny Gokey and it's not because his wife passed away that boy really can sing.  My prediction for tonight (and this is only a prediction) is Megan Joy will go home.  Again just a prediction - I do not look at those spoiler websites that are out there.  Who is your favorite and why?  I will post tomorrow about tonight's show.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

My 12-year-old daughter was laying her clothes out last night, painted her fingernails green, etc.  I asked her what would happen if she didn't wear green and she said she would get pinched.  I had to laugh because that is one thing that hasn't changed over the past 20 years.  I myself am wearing green socks today.  I have nothing green in my closet except for t-shirts and it is much too cold so the socks will have to do.  Happy St.  Patrick's Day everyone - wear green today so you won't get pinched!

Changing times

Have not posted in quite a while.  Life has gotten in the way as it doees for most of us.  I have a heavy heart today and I don't know how to handle this.  My brother, 44, is on drugs and has been most of his life since he was 16.  We have tried to help him so many, many times and I have come to realize you can't help someone that doesn't want help but it is so heartbreaking to see him like this.  He lives with my mom on and off and I have told her she shouldn't let him.  She just can't turn him away.  I really think I could, tough love, you know?  But probably something easier said than done.  He is an electrician and so very smart and talented.  He can fix anything.  He could have his own business and be very rich right now honestly but he has thrown all of that away.  He has never been married and has no kids (and that's a blessing).  He did some work for my husband about 6 months ago and we paid him for his service.  He has come now out of the blue saying we didn't pay him and we owed him $50.00.  I don't know where this is coming from because we did pay him at the time.  I know he needs drugs and he is broke which is why he needs money.  We will not give it to him.  He called our house on Friday 20 times.  I was the only one home and my  husband was at work.  He just kept screaming at me with foul language and told me he was waiting for Jeff (my husband) to come over there so  he could kick his a*s.  He really scared me.  I went to my mom's house yesterday and he was there.  He threatened me and said he better not see me over there again unless I had his $50.00.  We have already decided if he calls us one more time I am calling the police.  I hate to do that but have no choice.  He even told me I was not his sister anymore.  Well, it is sad and I am upset as I do love my brother and I just don't know what to do.  Sad post, I know, but I needed to vent and the perfect place to do this is on a blog!  Hope everyone has a great day.  If anyone has any experience dealing with adult siblings on drugs I would like to hear from you.